From all the truth that I've said

Come by it honestly I swear

Thought you saw me wink, no, I've been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear

Something that were like those years

I'm sick of all the insincere

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time

Dont need another perfect lie

Dont care if any critics jump in line

I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Got no reason

Got no shame

Got no family I can blame

Just dont let me disappear

Imma tell you everything

I'm glad though, for this month long break because I can finally retreat back into my bubble. I should totally recreate scenes from The Walking Dead with my LEGO zombies.

Another thing that has REALLY bothered me is that.. I seems to have lost my literary skills! I cant express myself and write eloquently anymore! Hence I'm determined to read alot of novels over this holiday and write more. December's Book Club meeting is gonna be on Great Expectations, which is an awesome thing because then I would already have a good understanding of the book (having done it in lit class) and I could focus on hearing other people's opinions.

Recalling a conversation with someone whom I respect and whose company I really enjoyed. Let's call him R. During class, R was telling some of us his ghostly encounters and the likes. Anyway, I wasnt sure how the conversation had rolled, but he started saying things like, "Sometimes when I'm walking, walking; and somebody waved to me. I would feel like it's not real. Like there's a fog between us, like there's no sense of connection. How do you know if these people that walking around us now are real? Even as I'm talking to you all, I feel that I'm in a dream." Okay, this isnt exactly what he said, but that's the gist of it.

It's an interesting thing to think about, though I have never actually doubt my existence or the existence of other people before. I think I can understand where he's coming from, why he might feel that way; the idea of being alone in a world where you cant be sure if what you know to be the truth, is the truth. The feeling of insecurity and doubt towards the elements in your life. Sounds like a big mindfuck, but I love mindfucks.

For my Grey Matters project, I intend to do something related to Surrealism, The Reality of Dreams. Right now, I have borrowed a book on Salvador Dali, a Surrealist, who had a really unique perspective on things. I'm trying to understand the works of several Surrealists, and to explore the power of the mind and dreams. How much could you trick yourself into believing that your imaginary world is the real world, and that you're actually having a lucid dream in which you couldnt wake up from? This is very Inception I know, but interesting ideas to explore dont you think? I foresee that this might actually drive me mad at some point but nevertheless worth a shot.

My assessment is in about 5 days time and my final projects are fucking incompleted. I'm so, so, so dead. I really need to pull up my socks.

So what I'm trying to say here is that, I dont lead an exciting life & that I'm probably seen as a boring person by general standards. I'm perfectly fine with that most of the time because as long as Im happy, I shouldnt give a fuck to what other people think. But sometimes you'll be reminded of how "boring" you're by the people around you because they are so "out there" and you're like blah. To have a friend tell you that reading a book on indie culture is so "boring" is just plain rude, insensitive and inconsiderate. Hello?! What happened to RESPECT?! Respecting the fact that people are different. Demeaning what I like to do is just.. -face palm- I think sometimes I expect too much out of people and hence when they behave below my expectations, I get ridiculously upset.... But I do kind of forgive this friend as I feel that she dont understand things like these because it has never been an issue in her life and hence she never think about it.

I'm gonna continue buying lots lots of books, going to theatre performances, collecting LEGO, attending Book Club meetings, doing book reviews, engaging in all forms of visual arts, writing letters to people etc, all of which are activities that I enjoy.

..Boring? Fuck labels.

I like girls. So what.

Thus, it turns out that this inaptly named magazine is like a family magazine for lezzies and so I had this look on my face --> :O

H was giving me one of those looks and ask if I didnt know & that I should buy it. In response, I replied her things which are inappropriate to be repeated here.

Anyway, the point of this is that Im surprised that such magazines can be found here, albeit in a a corner of a bookstore where people usually dont look.

On this same day, as I was walking out of the Ladies, three malay boys were walking into the Gents. When they saw me, they quickly double checked that they are walking into the right toilet. Hilarious.

BACK TO WORK ON MY PAINTING. :/

(An opinion of someone)