I just want to hug you & tell you that it will be fine, i'll be here, that is all.

These feelings are too much for me to handle, that is all.

asdkjdal kfhsaufhdfudsuf imissyou asiudsaoidhapoioosk

because you're so far away saklnasfknjasfkdjlfdjfl i can only give you broccoli hearts <3 auhfiaofnansjlafjksnflakfnalsjkfhafejfeiopfjpqoefipemfpa;a;; yesimissyou apoidaspdmasidpoasskkdmfkdmdkkdllslsls

on a slightly unrelated note, i cannot focus on my school work.

The helpless feeling when somebody you like (very much) is far far away in a foreign land, committing impulsive-but-gratifying-in-its-own-way acts and then...tells you all about it because she trusts you as a friend. Friend-zoned, such misery. Can you imagine how painful it is to have this person whom you like so very much, telling you that she's thinking of going after someone else? Having this same person tweeting vague references about somebody else whom she compares to the "sun"? Well, let me tell you, it's FUCKING painful. It's that "tightness" in your chest, and knowing that it's purely psychological only seems to drive you to another level of insanity.

And after all that nonsense, comes a wave of personal demons representing all forms of insecurities, particularly, "oh i will never be good enough for her". Which can then be segregated into subcategories of: "oh i'm not smart enough", "oh i'm not good looking enough", "oh i'm too boyish" and, "oh i'm just not your type". These are the toughest battles to face, you can never really win, only can freeze those demons away for a while.

....I cant find muster the effort required to cloak my feelings with decorative words anymore. It's just very simply, I miss her & I wish she would choose me instead. Everyone & anyone who gets in my way please fuck off now thanks.

I am too tired and I just want to be myself.