I'm not as bold I was back in jj days I think. Approaching strangers should not have been a problem. Okay, maybe approaching strangers with an ulterior motive in mind is a problem. Intimidating.

Anyway, had a really good chat/discussion with David in drawing class today. Yes people, I'm actually making friends with a guy and having real conversation! We were exploring the possibility that we might actually be long-lost siblings with me having a better taste in hairstyles. We told an international student in our class that we're cousins and she believed. LOL!!!! :D

In an ART school, once the teachers see that you can do well, they EXPECT you to continue to do well. But being art, it's not like I can do well just by memorizing stuff. Producing great pieces of artwork involves many factors such as; inspirations, idea development, techniques and most importantly, whether you bloody feel like working on it or not. The problem is the more I remind myself that I can do better, I dont do so well actually. It's kinda like the more stressed up I get, the less flexible my mind becomes. But you see, it's a mind game actually. The trick lies in believing in yourself (I suppose).

"You can do better than this," has just became the scariest words in my dictionary.

However, there's a stark difference between the beginning of last sem and this sem. It's funny how people/friends/classmate can affect you that much with their nonsensical behaviour. It is really the little things that irks me, how I cant fall back on my routine and having to devise new ones.

Sigh. I dont even know what to say on this matter anymore. It's so tiring.

I would like to settle things once and for all and put it behind me but they just cant let it go?!? Doing silly little little things to make life difficult for me is really, annoying.

I told myself it's pointless to be upset over things like this so I tried to hold them little bastards in until I got a motherfucking headache. Despite my best efforts, I let them escaped anyway. The first of 2011.

Dont feel like elaborating anymore, and I'm ok.

Dont think I'm making sense.

Whenever I browse through fashion blogs I feel so oddly superficial. Because fashion does make people superficial. Okay, I understand that this is a sweeping statement but let me share my observations.

I've often observe the behavior of the fashion students in my school and though they exude an air of confidence but how often is this marred by that superior air, the upward tilt of the head and the downward roll of their eyeballs. Well so they may be one of those few who are labeled as people with "good fashion sense" but it is necessary to rub it in other people's faces? I'm not saying that all of them are like that but more the prominent ones appear to be like that. I guess having good dress sense is like a trophy these days, one that requires flaunting coupled with a swagger in 'ya walk. The world wide web is a guilty perpetuator of such behavior. What's the point of dressing so awesomely when there's no one to see? OH! I'll put it on the net and everyone will be able to witness how incredibly awesome I am!

...Which brings me to the topic of narcissism. Social networking sites, blogs, these are places where we whore ourselves constantly. There's nothing wrong, even I do it. The only problem is that once this becomes the "in" thing, it borders on excessive, which then gets tiring and leads to a whole bunch of other issues.

So sometimes I think its ridiculous to follow fashion blogs but I do it anyway. I'm ridiculous.

Pardon me for my incessant rambles , do take everything with a pinch of salt 'cause I'm not serious obviously.

WANTED HAIRCUT, WITH THE SHAVED SIDES OF COURSE.

Anyway, I have decided to first get a word, yes a word, tattooed on my inner wrist of my right hand. It's gonna be small enough to be covered up by my watch when I wear my watch just so that my parents wouldnt notice (I hope). Just an idea I'm bouncing around in my head, let's see how things go hmmm hmmm

2010 was a year that proper resolutions were set and actually achieved. It was also a year of having many more people entering my life. In fact, compared to 2009, 2010 was waaayyyy better.

"Things go wrong so we can learn to appreciate the things that go right. Good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

This is something which I had pinned to my board for ages. From time to time, this gives me hope when things aint going well and it also serves as a reminder for me to appreciate everything that is sunshine and rainbows.

I can barely remember the first half of the year though, I just know that it wasnt easy. What's with the stress that came about from worrying about my next phase in life, academic wise. Thankfully, I got into L A S A L L E, which was where I've always wanted to go, but never had a good enough reason to try. Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone into Performing Arts instead of Visual Arts but I love both & I wish I could have the best of both worlds.

The second half of the year was about schoolwork and sleepless night. It's Art and I love Art so most of the time despite the late nights, lack of sleep and mental block, I really enjoyed it. This year, now, I'm not too looking forward to going back to school because of some friends issues.. Not gonna elaborate.

2010 was also the year which I revert back to SHORT HAIR. Loving the ease of shampooing my hair and I feel better with short hair anyway. People amuse me to no end when they mistaken me for a boy lol.

2010

- sign language

- work + colleagues

- art

- theatre plays & concerts

- friends

- HAIRCUT

I kinda miss 2010 because 2011 feels so intimidating. Nevertheless, let's hope I'll have a good year ahead.