Another thing that has REALLY bothered me is that.. I seems to have lost my literary skills! I cant express myself and write eloquently anymore! Hence I'm determined to read alot of novels over this holiday and write more. December's Book Club meeting is gonna be on Great Expectations, which is an awesome thing because then I would already have a good understanding of the book (having done it in lit class) and I could focus on hearing other people's opinions.

Recalling a conversation with someone whom I respect and whose company I really enjoyed. Let's call him R. During class, R was telling some of us his ghostly encounters and the likes. Anyway, I wasnt sure how the conversation had rolled, but he started saying things like, "Sometimes when I'm walking, walking; and somebody waved to me. I would feel like it's not real. Like there's a fog between us, like there's no sense of connection. How do you know if these people that walking around us now are real? Even as I'm talking to you all, I feel that I'm in a dream." Okay, this isnt exactly what he said, but that's the gist of it.

It's an interesting thing to think about, though I have never actually doubt my existence or the existence of other people before. I think I can understand where he's coming from, why he might feel that way; the idea of being alone in a world where you cant be sure if what you know to be the truth, is the truth. The feeling of insecurity and doubt towards the elements in your life. Sounds like a big mindfuck, but I love mindfucks.

For my Grey Matters project, I intend to do something related to Surrealism, The Reality of Dreams. Right now, I have borrowed a book on Salvador Dali, a Surrealist, who had a really unique perspective on things. I'm trying to understand the works of several Surrealists, and to explore the power of the mind and dreams. How much could you trick yourself into believing that your imaginary world is the real world, and that you're actually having a lucid dream in which you couldnt wake up from? This is very Inception I know, but interesting ideas to explore dont you think? I foresee that this might actually drive me mad at some point but nevertheless worth a shot.

My assessment is in about 5 days time and my final projects are fucking incompleted. I'm so, so, so dead. I really need to pull up my socks.