All these.. statements that _ made about me, though kind of ridiculous-sounding at times but other times I wonder how true they may be. Like you know, if it's a subconscious thing that I'm doing which I'm not aware of but it's something that other people could see. I guess I'm just very annoyed that _ chose to point out these differences/characteristics in me that I never saw as a problem or anything to be concern about and make it sound like its a bad thing. So what if I'm "weird"? Everybody is weird anyway, I'm just less subtle. What is "weird"? That is such a vague descriptive word used to describe somebody who doesn't behave like everybody else and seriously, what's so bad about that?

I have not really been actively questioning myself for a while now, since I've gotten comfortable with who I am. Also lately, some truths had been revealed to my closer friends such that I no longer had to hide or avoid certain topics, and to see that people I care about, are not making any judgment really makes me feel good. Even my male colleague went to sign up for this particular wristband online and gave it to me, how damn freaking awesome is that?!

So much thoughts on this lately, even with _ who talked about it with me. I just feel that sometimes we cant be too careful, if we're always afraid of what the outcome may be then, we may never get the thing we really want. I told _, live in the present, but _ doesn't seems to get it. I think that sometimes we're too caught up in the past to fully appreciate life as it is, appreciate people who are actually by your side right, right now. The reason why people hold on to memories so tight is because they are the only things that wouldnt change when everything else does and people are afraid of changes so they never really want to accept that it happens. I hope _ understands these soon, before it's well... too late.

I'm at home typing this post now, on a thursday night. I haven't been home at this time on a thursday night because I'm usually out at play with _. I could have gone today, cj had been trying to get me to but I'm just not in the mood to. All the drama, the stuff that repeats itself week after week, is getting on my nerves and I just wanna slap someone and tell this someone to grow the fuck up. There's really no need to behave that way, like come onnnn mannnn, areee youuu freakinggg kiddinggg meee??

I am weary of always being the one who takes the initiative, maybe if you care enough, you would actually show more concern? Maybe the reason why people leave is because you dont give them a reason to stay or, when they want to leave and you dont fight hard enough to keep them.

Though my posts haven't really been the chirpy, cheerful kind lately, but I'm fine really, perhaps just a tad bit gloomy. My head just have been overworking a lot lately and it feels like there are so much thoughts in my head that I cant balance when I walk. I'm not depressed goddamnit, so STOP saying that I'm not alright but I AM FINE OKAY. It just pissed me off when people assume and insist that I'm not just because of my current entanglements.