How I can be so irrational and thought only of myself, how I feel, how she is making me feel rather than being partial and looking at the big picture. I wallow in this pool of misery that I created (though not single-handedly), digging deeper and deeper as the water level starts to rise above my head. I know what the big picture is, I kind of know what I should be doing but things like this, you dont always do what you think.

Arghhh my head hurts & I cant think clearly.